Victoria, Australia: July 1999
Great Ocean Road, 12 Apostles, Phillip's Island Penguin Parada, Melbourne, Canberra


Photos by Deirdre Brownell, Story by Erika Hahn.
Deirdre and Erika at the 12 Apostles and The Big Sheep

Melbourne arrival
We flew into Melbourne from Alice Springs via Sydney and got on the commuter plane with a bunch of suits. I felt rather underdressed. We were searching for a cheap way into the city. We had another backpacker with us and the bus coach guy said he would sell us a family ticket for 1/3 the normal fare so we said sure. The bus station was near the hostel. It is one of the biggest hostels in Australia and we took the big 15 bed room. But it was fine. No one bothered us or made too much noise or kept the light on too late (unlike Kalbarri). Only later did we find out it was a hostel known for high theft and people with heroin habits. Heroin is apparently a big problem in Australia and we were shocked to see needle baskets in all the public toilets, airplane toilets and such. But better that than a needle stick I suppose. I had this huge didgeridoo but I hid it under my blankets and no one bothered our stuff. We used the lockers for our valuables. D and I set off to find the best place to go online. The next day we were off on our last tour--a two day visit to the south coast of Victoria with Autopia Tours.

Great Ocean Road
We met up with the tour van and our driver was one of the most educated Australians I met on the trip. He was a teacher when he wasn't giving tours. I really enjoyed talking with him about all manner of things. We were accompanied by a young Dutch couple, and another American woman. The drive to the Great Ocean Road takes you through the city out into the suburbs south west. We stopped for tea at a park in one of the small towns. It is such a joy to enjoy this perennially British/Australian tea time. Very civilized. I like mine with lots of milk and sugar. This part of the coastline is one of the most dangerous to ships in the world and many ship wrecks have occured on this stretch of coastline. Just as they did along the coast of Cape Cod in Massachusetts where I live half way round the world. We didn't really hear the news til we returned to Melbourne but JFK Jrs plane was missing off Martha's Vineyard. We finally arrived at the cliffs area. We disembarked, read some of the signage telling us of the history of the place, saw the cemetary where a shipwreck from Britain had claimed many lives. Some of the survivors stayed in the area and their descendents still farm and live there today. At this point the American lady asks me where I am from and do I know Andy McIntosh (coz she went to school with him) I start screaming and jumping up and down of course I know Andy. At this point everyone thinks I am quite crazy. Finally I calm down. That is so cool. I get her to say something on videotape I mean what are the odds????? The cliffs are quite spectacular. We walked down the beach to a cave where some shipwreck survivors washed ashore and lived for a while awaiting rescue. Later our guide has us walk over to where the spray is whipping over the top of the cliffs from hitting the walls so hard. It is a force of nature to behold and I am quite impressed. I have to be careful not to let my video cam get wet with the spray. That would be bad. Salt really corrodes electronics which we learned on the Whitsunday Island sail. We then heard about the little islands a stones throw from us that serve as breeding colonies for many shore birds. One used to be connected to the mainland but one day the natural bridge collapsed leaving tourists stranded and they had to be rescued by helicopter. We then drove to the 12 apostles. Huge stone outcrops just off shore. I think there are more than 12 now. The constant erosion has left its mark. But they are quite striking and the other name for them is the little piggies (for non-Christians I imagine). Tour buses came and went. I was glad to be on our little tour bus. I won a contest to guess how many stairs from the bottom to the top of the cliffs. Something like 99. So our guide bought me a beer at dinner. Deirdre just rolled her eyes and said "Not again". That evening we stayed at the hostel in this little town. It was quite clean and we slept well.

Phillip's Island/Penguin Parade The next day we set off along the Ocean Road back to Melbourne. I stupidly sat in the way back and the tour guide alerted me that this was the puke seat area and to let him know if I felt ill or nauseated from car sickness. Ok well maybe a little after an hour or two of winding twisting roads. One of the things I adore about Australia is all the variety of wildlife and birdlife you would never see at home. Today was no exception. We drove to a national park along the coast where we had a koala lookout from the van. They are hard to see, they nestle sleeping in eucalyptus branches high up and look like little bumps in the canopy of the trees. We drove a mile or so up and found a bunch of them. They sleep 23 hours a day and eat eucalyptus the other time. They are so cute but wild ones can really bite and scratch. We saw one koala with a baby on her back scurry to the next tree and we sort of lit out after her but poor thing was frightened of all of us touristas and clambored up with baby to escape our camera clicks. These poor animals are frequently run over by cars as they try to cross roads and also they are afflicted with a sort of venereal disease that makes their genitals red and they get quite sick with sores and infections.
We then drove to a golf course to see the Grey Kangaroo mob (that's what a group of them is called) hanging out, eating grass, as golfers played by. We could get quite close to them. Again, as wild animals you don't want to get too close to a kangaroo, especially a male, they can grab you with their arms and kick the crap out of you with their powerful hind legs while balancing on their tail. Fortunately none were aggressive. I could not get over how cute the babies were hanging out of their mother's pouches. We had plenty of photo ops. We stopped for lunch at a coastal town and the sun finally decided to make an appearance.
We then took the ferry across the huge harbor to get to Phillip's Island to see the Fairy or now called Blue Penguins nesting area. It is the largest tourist attraction in Australia, even more than Ayer's Rock (Uluru) is. So there were tons of huge tour buses. They have a park center by the beach and dusk is when people come from everywhere to pay $12 to see the penguins return from shore to their nests. Flash photography is not permitted but still we saw these idiot Japanese tourists flashing their cameras and the poor penguins get blinded and the rangers get really angry and yell at them to stop. Everyone oohed and aahed and the penguins came in waves or groups. Amassing at the beach and then rushing inland together making these adorable cooing sounds "aaaah uuuurrrh" as they waddled to their holes in the ground. As usual this was one of the last surviving colonies (and since I visited a huge oil spill nearly wiped them out forever) because 100 years ago there were colonies all over but humans came and trampled their nests and suffocated them and they nearly died out before the government stepped in to protect the last nest site. Sigh. They are the smallest penguin type. We also visited the nature preserve of the koalas where they study them for this venereal disease and also for the reproduction, eating habits and to give tourist something to do while they wait for penguins to return from the ocean. They really put up with a lot coz if they sleep near the walkways people constantly harass them trying to wake them up for photos. And the rangers yell at them. I would not want to be a ranger at this park. We got back to Melbourne rather late and crashed out in our room.

Melbourne
Deirdre and I were tired from all our traveling. I decided to explore the city a little bit. They have great trams or light rail service street cars that take you all over. I decided to take in a footie game. Australians are mad for football (not the American variety). It is very difficult to describe so you can understand but basically it's a little like rugby in that you can catch the ball and kick it with your hands and everyone tries to tackle you. Players don't wear any protection so they get hurt a lot. The rules are complicated but as luck would have it I got there to the stadium a little late and a guy was standing outside and he asked if I wanted a ticket. Turns out he had a free pass from work and his mate didn't show so I got in free and they guy was really nice and explained everything that was happening so I sort of started to catch on. One funny thing happened was I had a program and I kept putting it up to my forehead to keep the glare out of my eyes. After the game he and his friends (a young couple) asked to go for a drink so I went. Turns out to be a nudie bar across the street where women bartenders go topless. Hello. So everyone was staring at me and I was like "Ok. why is everyone staring at me?" We finally left everyone said good bye and I walked back to town to catch the tram back north to the hostel. I went to McDonald's to use the bathroom and I glanced in the mirror and was horrified! I had this huge black smudge on my forehead. I mean it looked really awful. It was from the newsprint of the program. Eek. I hurried to wash it off and felt really embarrassed that I had been walking around like that for some time unaware.
Then I decided I had to get some Melbourne nightlife so I went to this huge club downtown and there were huge dancefloors. I wanted some nachos and there were only a few tables. I saw this cute guy with dark hair and asked to sit with him. He agreed. He was happy to hear I was a yank and we chatted amiably and he was in the Navy from Darwin down visiting his turns out 100 cousins and I met nearly all of them that night. Very nice people and they adopted me and dragged me around with them all evening. It was quite fun.

Britzing it back to Sydney
I called Britz Campervan service in Melbourne to see about relocating a van to Sydney and they did have one and it was needed back in 3 days so I convinced Deirdre that learning to drive on the wrong side of the road was an experience we needed and we went to pick it up and drive via the capital "Canberra" to Sydney airport. Before we left we met up with a guy I had met via ICQ on the internet. He was a really cool guy in a leather jacket that owned his own video production company and drove a BMW. He took D and I for tea in a fancy shopping area of Melbourne before dropping us off at Britz. Nice guy. Ok driving on the wrong side of the road in a major city is very hair raising let me say that. I was so scared. Especially when I had to make a turn at an intersection. Once we were out of the city it was ok. We had our place to sleep. We ended up stopping at the place of the bushrangers Ned Kelly gang. If you remember from reading about Fitzroy Crossing Jeremy was related to one of the Ned Kelly gang's members (the cross dressing one. But he only did that to escape detection by the law). So there was a huge statue of Ned Kelly and his old homestead was a museum and since he would be like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid lore or Jesse James we had to learn more. The house was quite rustic. Poor Ned was captured in shootout. We never went to Melbourne Jail but that is where his suit of iron is housed. He made it and wore it and the bullets bounced right off him but then they realized he didn't cover his legs so they shot him there, made him recover in jail then hanged him. The Australian way. D and I pressed on to Canberra the nation's capital. We stopped for lunch at a town with a huge submarine buried in concrete in this park miles from any ocean. Don't ask me why. We were laughing at the "Big" tourist attractions we saw along the way. Canberry has similarities to Washington DC. It is a planned city. Sydney and Melbourne are such rivalrous cities they wouldn't let the other be capital so they settled for something in the middle between them. It is not the most exciting city in the world. There is a huge man made lake, a bridge, a huge fountain, some interesting modern architecture. I enjoyed the museum of modern art. Has some classical European art as well as Aboriginal art. Huge canvasses and sculptures. We found it to be very expensive food wise. Apparently everyone here is government worker and quite boring and uptight. ZZZZ. We went to the National Library to use the internet and I read about some natural history tours by ship taken by Captain Cook and later explorers in a exhibit. So we camped at a campground with no heat in our camper van and I was freezing to death. It was 32 degrees outside or less, a full moon and an eclipse. While sleeping I rolled onto D and she got mad and said "get off me!" turns out I also managed to park on a slight hill. The last day we really had to boogie to get to Sydney by 2 pm. We stopped at a town to get gas and there was this huge BIG SHEEP made of concrete that is a gift shop. We had to go in and take pics outside it. Then there was this huge hill to get back to the coast road. It was breathtaking views but I let Deirdre enjoy them as I negotiated hair pin turns both up and down the mountain. We pulled in just in time. We hit terrible traffic just south and I was getting really irritable the way I get when I feel stressed and there is nothing I can do about the situation. We turned the van in (having washed and vacuumed it outside town) and it was the first time we actually made money (about $10) coz they gave us a gas voucher and we didn't use that much gas. Cool.

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This page updated August 20, 2001.