Top 10 Loser Boyfriend Warning Signs...and growing 30+!

Dear Women who visit who have put up with such suffering in having to deal with loser men. I salute you. I have many more emails to put on the site. I haven't deleted any of them. I now have time to put them up and make a guestbook for you all to tell of your horror stories. Be creative and original here. Thanks to all the women who have emailed me with suggestions for the list who have had to put up with loser men. Remember the woman who laughs last...lasts!

By Erika Hahn and Deirdre Brownell (also other women fed up with losers)

Number One:

If they start expecting you to be their mother.

Number Two:

If they drop trou in the parking lot.

Number Three:

When they make you feel so horrible in their physical presense you must detach yourself from your body.

Number Four:

If they start insinuating they wish you bodily harm.

Number Five:

If they have slept with their biological sister.

Number Six:

If they are afraid of stuffed animals.

Number Seven:

If your friends meet them for the first time and make the sign of the cross with their hands to their face in horror.

Number Eight:

If they expect you to behave like their fantasies.

Number Nine:

If their apartment looks like a bad acid flashback.

And Number Ten:

When they have to go to the bathroom every 2 hours or suffer a nasty personality change.

Adding to loser boyfriend signs:
#11...if they become WAY too attached in a short period of time.
#12...if they expect to sleep with you without a moments thought no matter how many times you say no.
#13...if kissing is WAY too fast for them, they'll just stick to holding hands for the 1-2 months that you are still hoping they'll get a clue.
#14...if "house" is their favorite game.
#15...if they are only nice to you when they want something.
#16...if they think "i don't want to see you again, EVER" means "i can't get enough of you. take me! now, before i explode with undenied passion!"
submitted by LT
#17...you know your boyfriend is a loser when they tell you they enjoy being your FRIEND and eventually use that as an excuse to dump you..that is very very lame..heh heh heh (heavy sigh) (submitted by Lauren)
#18...True story: The one that goes to Paris with you with a roll of quarters in his pocket. The only money he had. (submitted by Vicki C)
#19 Asks to borrow money from you when they also have a job.
#20 when their family likes you then they somehow forget to tell the family that you are not together or they put the blame on you
#21 when you go places they always want you to drive...Your CAR.
#22 tries to get you pregnant to keep you by putting holes in the condoms..poking it multiple times with a safety pin (SERIOUS LOSER)
#23 tries to date your best friend (#1 Loser)
[Nos. 19-23 submitted by Shatonjia.]
#24...When he has only known you a week and asks you to come to bed with him and you refuse and he tells you that's good coz if you had slept with him he would no longer respect you.
#25...When you meet a guy and he keeps asking if you are sleeping with someone else and you know you aren't and then you later find out he has a girlfriend he's banging he forgot to tell you about!
#26...On a romantic roadtrip, once he has you at his mercy he verbally and emotionally abuses and bullies you, calls you names, becomes controlling and angry, and when you finally catch the next flight home after he drove you away he wants to know why you didn't call him to tell him you got home ok! (*This type of behavior is very bad so if you meet one of these run don't walk!)
#27....And the # 1 reason is that my mother asked me to leave his name off the birth certificate if I ever accidentally got pregnant. From Anonymous.
#28...when your boyfriend of over two years tells you that he doesn't feel like kissing you, because in general, he thinks sex is better. and then submitting to your desires of kissing you would classify himself as "reducing himself". then, blaming his neglectful actions on your PMS! From Andrea
#29...Working 6 days a week to his 2... and still taking him out. from Emmylou
#30...The guy you have been dating ends up in jail. From anonymous
#31...When you finally end up in bed after a long courtship he says he prefers to just lie there while you service him.
#32...when your sister is baffled with his bullstuff and she gives him hundreds of dollars each week for bills when he has two jobs!! Submitted by Lori.
#33...heres a major loser sign: asks to marry you , but the wedding has to wait until he gets a divorce.- from Sydney.
#34....You know he is a loser when he leaves a rose and a letter...telling you what a bitch you are...on valentines day...as a joke (haha.)
#35.. Cori tells us of a real winner: picks his nose, puts the booger on his tongue and expects you to french kiss him EEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#36.. 2 weeks before Christmas he said I'd be unwrapping! (you know, presents from him) Well, come Christmas Eve, he disappears on of all things a cocaine binge. He does that twice a year or so. I didn't hear from him for 5 days.
#37...In February 03, he took me to a VERY expensive, VERY fancy restaurant, dinner cost more than $100 that evening and over dinner he presented an idea whereby he would give me $2,000 to invest in stocks on his behalf in my name. You see, he owes the government a ton of money, so any money he has is wanted by them, so he couldn't invest it in his own name. And the reason he selected me to do this with is because I am the ONLY PERSON on this earth whom he truly trusts!! Let alone the fact that he's putting my reputation with the law at risk, proposing something illegal like this. Honestly, it's the next thing to prostitution in my opinion. Using my identity to make a little money on the side. To conceive such an idea and then to present it in such a artful, contrived, manipulative way!
#38...One time, he drove so unbelievably recklessly that I couldn't keep my eyes open when we were speeding down the freeway, dodging cars on a busy freeway, it wasn't until I was reading [the book] COURAGE TO HEAL that I noticed driving recklessly is actually an abusive behaviour. -- submitted by Anonymous (she proudly tells us she finally dumped his ass by the way)
#39...He keeps telling you "All Women Are Whores". It just pops up in general conversation for no reason. Just to let you know how little he respects you or any woman. Men who say such things are VERY Dangerous and should be stayed away from. They aren't joking. They generally hate themselves and will use any excuse to blame you for their problems.

Nice Guy Corner

Sydney thinks we aren't quite being fair to the really good guys out there. Here is her response: "a winner boyfriend sends you roses ,just because he was thinking of you. and a winner boyfriend takes off work to take care of you when you're sick."

Food for Thought from a Nice Guy

By Steve S.

The funny thing about losers is that for every 10 women there are 5-7 women who want them even though they know that they are losers. Many women are turned on by scuzballs. The reason is that those loser scuzballs don't care and are aggressive. The number one trait that women want in a man. A guy that shows confidence is most likely a loser. He does't care to be rejected. But since he is aggresive he wins the woman based on that alone. Women by nature want to be pursued. They want to be noticed. Many nice and loving guys out there don't get anywhere because they choose to sit back and be themselves. They try not to be someone they are not, but are just as much a man as any man can be. They don't pretend to worship bullsit tactics. They are honest with themselves and don't want to play out something that is not within their character. Society bases two major things on choosing a mate:
A. Looks
B. Aggresiveness
Common decency, attitude, character, career are only secondary. People never learn.

This page is based on real life experiences. It is dedicated to all the loser wannabe boyfriends I have encountered past and present. They know who they are but don't even warrant mention they are such incredible losers. This page could not have been done without the assistance both mental, spiritual, and emotional of Deirdre Brownell who constantly is trying to get me to try a good boyfriend once, just once.

The 1999 King of Loser's was a guy who emailed me with 10 signs your girl is a loser and they were all based on me and what he could glean off my website. How amusing. I mean, anybody with ahem that much time on his hands must be a loser. A few months later he put me on a listserv email about love and peace and buddhism and other rubbish. What nerve. Oh well. More loser boyfriend signs posted as they come, ahem, up.
The 2003 King of Loser's did everything he could to make me upset and angry then try to calm me down as a means of control. I thought I was losing my mind. Then when I was finally breaking free he sent me an email basically blaming me for everything wrong in his pathetic miserable life. I seem to remember he pursued me. Well it was a serious lesson to me about abusive men and how vulnerable I am to them. I admit it. I was tricked. I fell for the trap. This page was initially started as a joke but grew as people emailed me. Lately I see a disturbing trend of women asking for real help with bad relationships. I will be creating a resource page for women to identify abusive men behaviors (including my favorite categories how to spot a Drug Addict, emotional cripple, or Narcissist before you get your heart broken). It is my eternal hope that somehow we women realize these men couldn't continue to behave the way they do if we women STOPPED putting up with their BS and manipulation!
This page is dedicated to Elizabeth and other women who have suffered unrelentless abuse by being yelled at, hit, stalked, terrorized, and otherwise harmed on every level unfairly and without purpose. Just to meet some abuser's need to control. Let's take back out power and say NO MORE to these abusive men. Let them sit alone and be miserable and remember we deserve better. Most of these type men are weak cowards, very immature emotionally and insecure. Abusing women makes them feel strong.
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This page updated August 22, 2003